The main purpose of singleness is to please God but for a wife its making a home for husband/children. Being a wife is a role and it’s about serving their husband for God’s sake. There is nowhere in the Bible that says marriage is about happiness or making each other happy. The role of a wife is to co-labour with her husband and to respect/love him its “not about the woman’s happiness,” according to Pastor Bayo. The role of a wife is reserved for woman who are mature enough to nurture and to meet the needs of their husband.
The highest call a woman can have is as a wife. Even though we are born as women to become a “female” or a “wife” we need to be taught. “Older women, likewise are to be reverent in their behaviour, not slanders or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. In this way, they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, mangers of their householders, kind and subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be discredited,” Titus 2:4
Since there are very few older women teaching younger women how to be wives. Pastor Bayo has a few tips on the things single women should be looking out for during the acquaintance, friendship and courtship stages and engagement prior to marriage. We should use wisdom to make the decision on who to marry and it shouldn’t be based on physical attraction or how we “feel” about them as our feelings can deceive us and feelings will change.
Seven P’s to consider and questions to ask:
The real you is your value system.
- What are your core values?
- What are the things that you value most?
- What are the things that define you?
This is how you come across.
This is what God has created them to do and the only thing that will give them fulfillment.
- What is the direction of their life?
- Can you help him fulfill his purpose?
Pay attention to the people that in their life ie family/friends/colleagues
- Who are the people who are in their everyday life?
- Are they influenced by the people in their life?
Assess what their future could look like and if you could fit into it.
- What could their future look like in 5,10,20 years?
- Can you work together to build a life?
After assessing the potential of the person have a look at their plans.
- Do they have plans to move to another city or country?
- What the steps that need to be put in place to move forward with their plans?
Understand the roles of each person and know their personas.
When a man is showing authority and leading you need to know how to behave.