Many complain that the bible doesn’t speak exhaustively about courtship and dating, however the bible gives us principles and wisdom that we can use in the pursuit of marriage. We believe the 7 P’s framework is a means of grace we can use to implement these principles, helping the believer transition seamlessly from singleness to marriage in a manner that glorifies God to the utmost.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
From the verses above, we learn that singleness is a means for the believer to give their whole life to God in service to Him and His people. Marriage however, serves as a tool The Lord uses to amplify the grace at work of its constituent members (husband and wife) and ultimately reflect the glory of God revealed through Christ and the church.
Here at KC we believe:
“Males are born, men are made and husbands are trained”
“Females are born, women are made and wives are trained”
The process of becoming a competent head or suitable helpmeet is one that requires intentional training, mentorship, accountability and, most importantly, submission and wholehearted devotion to God and His plans.
We devised the “5 Stages of Dating” process, which takes the men and women through acquaintance to friendship, courtship, engagement and finally marriage. Below are the 7P’s, which should inform your conversations through the process. It is important that the man and woman assess how these components will affect their potential marriage. Ask thorough questions, take notes, be intentional about digging for information – and enjoy the process!
7P’s to consider and questions to ask:
This is their value system
- What are their core values?
- What are the things that they value most?
- What defines them?
- What is their highest priority in life?
This is how they express themselves
- Are they introverted or extroverted?
- How do they relate with people?
- How do they respond when things happen to them? (i.e moments of pressure or great joy?)
This is what God has created them to do and the only thing that will give them fulfillment
- What is the direction of their life?
- Can you help him/her fulfil their purpose?
- What is their vision for the future?
Pay attention to the people in their life i.e. family/friends/colleagues
- Who are the people in their everyday life?
- Which people are they influenced by?
- Do they have functional accountability structures?
Assess what their future could look like and if you could fit into it
- What could their future look like in 5,10,20 years?
- Can you work together to build a life?
After assessing the potential of the person have a look at their plans
- Do they have plans to move to another city or country?
- What are the steps that need to be put in place to move forward with their plans?
Understand the roles of each person and know their personas
- What do they understand of their role as head or helpmeet and what do they understand about yours?
- Who does the cooking/cleaning?
- Who is in charge of the household budgeting?
We pray these tips will help you and have blessed you! Why not come to the next KC event? See more information here.