. . . through practical wisdom.
Many people experiencing delays in getting married have thought at one time or the other that their situation could be enforced by demonic activity or evil people. Whilst I agree that a lot of times satanic influence is involved in the outcomes of our life, I would like to state that barriers to relationship are often not spiritual.
Most (even all) of the factors that affect our ability to have relationships and marry is within our control as human beings. If we don’t realise this, we will put the full responsibility on satan and his agents, which often leaves us feeling helpless because we are not able to influence him (except) through prayers. If however, we realise that satan cannot continue to oppress us without human permission or agreement, (provided though bad choices, ignorance, sin, bad character, evil desires, unrenewed mindsets etc) we can “reset the permissions” both spiritually and practically by applying wisdom to improve our “marriageability” quotient.
Below are a few other “barriers” that could be working against you and some suggestions on how to overcome them:
Wrong Place – Right Time Barrier
It is possible to be ready for marriage, but you are not in the right physical, emotional, social and spiritual environment where you can meet the right type of persons, or have the right kinds of conversations that can lead to marriage.
E.g. 1 – having a church-home-work life triangle cannot be the best for you particularly if those places do not have the right persons in the right quantities to create potential. In such a situation, you should seek wise counsel and “reset” your environment or your routine.
E.g. 2 – you could also be in a unique place in life due to unfortunate experiences or bad choices and this may present itself a social, emotional or cultural barrier to initiating a relationship. I don’t want to be specific, as there are many situations we go through in life that can pose a social, emotional or cultural challenge to moving ahead.
In such a situation, you should seek wise counsel also and “manage” your situations in such a way to mitigate the effects of your unique circumstances.
Right Place – Wrong Mind Barrier
It is possible to be in the right place but have the wrong ideas about what you are supposed to be going for and how you are supposed to go about things. This could be affecting you or the person you could be with. By this I mean you could be in the right mind but they are not! This can be managed by having the right conversations with those concerned, to bring about a resetting of the minds. However, these sort of conversations need a lot of tact and wisdom to navigate.
Right Time – Right Place – Wrong People Barrier
Many times we are actually in the right place at the right time but the people around us who are interested in us, or we are interested in may be the wrong types of persons for us. Therefore, issues of incompatibility sets in and makes it hard for relationships to progress. Unfortunately having repeat cycles of this can damage your confidence, where you begin to think that there is something wrong with you, whereas it’s just a “wrong persons” issue. A little education can cure this for you, restore your confidence, and help you discern people right.
Right Places – Right Time – Right – People – Wrong Tools Barrier
Sometimes the issue is that we lack the necessary skills to guide our conversations with the right prospects to the “safe haven” of marriage because we lack the wisdom, skills and tools to make this happen. The answer to this is get wisdom and understanding. Learn the whats, whys and hows of how to make relationships work. If we can identify and eliminate these issues that we can control, we will realise that the devil is not as powerful as we think. Realise that God our Father who designed you and marriage, planned for you to marry and for your marriage to work. We just need to know His Truth and it will bring us into freedom.
You can work towards being in the right place at the right time, with the right people and posses the right tools to make your relationships work. Break the barrier of delay through practical wisdom, but also keep praying!
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:
and with all thy getting get understanding.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests
be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts
and minds through Christ Jesus.
Authored by Pastor Eugene A Ajayi