So, Christian Dating can be perceived as a grey area. But does it have to be?
The below is a guideline to navigate this “relationship” arena. Dating experiences of each individual reading this blog will be different, however the principles will be the same.
FIRST Stage – Get Acquainted
Get Acquainted and keep emotions out of it until you say “I Do”. Ask questions! Ask questions! And ask more questions! Assume nothing. Is there a divine purpose that connects you together? Do you know your unique Purpose as a Kingdom Citizen? Are you aware of your own strengthens and weaknesses?
Men, keep in mind you are looking for a wife (a Helpmeet), a woman who can help meet your needs, to help your fulfill your purpose and destiny. Ladies, keep in mind that you are meant to be a Helpmeet. Are you ready to be a Helper to the right kind of Christian Man (who is spiritually mature to marry)? Many marriages fail due to emotional immaturity. Mr.Right or Mrs.Right is someone you are kitted to function with in 1. Spirit, 2. Soul and then 3. Body. The Bible says “Bone after bone, flesh after flesh.”
Remember this stage is for informational purposes ONLY. Have chats. Be friends and enjoy casual connection. Ask direct questions – and don’t hide who you are! However, avoid asking intimate questions at this stage. Your body sends signals at the same time as your mind. Your body only thinks about appetite – (for both male and female); it is misleading at this stage. Don’t let your emotions run away with you, bring your flesh in to submission.
SECOND Stage – Friendship
Now you have identified a potential common purpose / goals where marriage could be a possibility, practice platonic friendship. Companionship is an essential ingredient to a dynamic marriage, which will be continued to be worked on through your pre marriage & post married life (if the relationship progresses to the 5th stage).
Continue to evaluate what you have found out about each other from the acquaintance stage.
THIRD Stage – Courtship
At this point, once you feel comfortable about the relationship and the potential for it to lead to marriage you can inform your friends and family of the relationship. The “we’re officially courting” stage. What are their perceptions of the proposed union? However do remember that the relationship is still not set in stone. You can consider yourself half committed so guard your heart. Either party can freely choose to end the relationship if red flags / concerns are identified.
FOURTH Stage – Engagement
The Man proposed to his chosen lady and they both start solidify plans for the wedding & marriage life afterwards.
FIFTH Stage – Marriage
Enjoy, freely celebrate romance post marriage. Understand that marriage was set up by God to fulfill a kingdom purpose. With Love being a consequence of purpose, marriage does not cater for lust.
Treat the dating stages as a business contract: asking the right questions and reviewing the fine print will elongate your romance. Remember, your heart and times are valuable possessions.